What can you do with cremated remains?
Once the cremation is done, families often face a question that turns out to be very personal: What happens to the remains now?
There's no single answer. Depending on the state and the location, you may keep the remains at home, bury them, place them in a columbarium (a structure with niches for urns), scatter them, divide them among family members, or choose another lawful memorial practice.
This is also where a practical choice can become an emotional one. You're choosing more than a container. You're deciding what “final resting place” means to your family.
Keep the urn at home
Some families keep cremated remains at home for years. Nothing says you have to turn a person's remains into a cemetery memorial right away.
You can buy a permanent urn later. Some families keep the temporary container while they decide.
Think about:
- where the urn will be kept
- who will look after it
- whether several family members should each have a portion
- what happens if the family moves
- what the person wanted
Bury the cremated remains
Cremated remains can often go in a cemetery plot, an urn garden, a mausoleum, or another approved place. That gives the family a permanent place to visit without needing a full-size traditional grave.
The cemetery may charge for:
- the interment space (the plot or space itself)
- opening and closing
- a marker
- a niche or urn vault
- perpetual care or related charges
See After.com's cremation interment guide for an industry overview of the different permanent resting places families use.
Place the urn in a columbarium
A columbarium is a structure with small compartments, called niches, made to hold cremated remains.
If you want a permanent place but not a burial in the ground, this can be a middle ground between keeping the urn at home and scattering.
Ask the cemetery:
- what each niche costs
- what the opening and closing fee is
- whether the urn has to be a certain size
- what engraving is allowed
- whether the niche can hold more than one person's remains
Scatter the remains
Scattering can be meaningful, but the law depends a lot on where you do it. Private property, parks, beaches, waterways, and federal land don't all have the same rules.
Start with Where Can You Scatter Ashes? and the right HonestFarewell state law page.
For scattering at sea, read EPA Burial at Sea.
Divide the remains among relatives
Some families keep a portion, bury a portion, and scatter a portion. Others divide the remains between siblings or children who live in different states.
Before you divide the remains, ask the provider what containers are available. Also check that what each person plans to do with their portion is lawful where they'll do it.
Memorial keepsakes
Some companies make jewelry, glass, artwork, ceramics, or other memorial objects using a small amount of cremated remains. The quality and the process vary a great deal.
Ask them exactly:
- how much of the remains they need
- where the material is sent
- what happens to any material they don't use
- how the item is identified
- whether the remains are mixed with other materials
- what happens if the item is damaged or lost
What if nobody is ready to decide?
That's okay. A temporary container can be a perfectly reasonable place to stop for now.
You don't have to scatter, bury, or buy a permanent urn in the first week. Your family can take its time.
In many cases, waiting isn't a legal failure. It's just waiting, as long as you're following any rules that apply to storage and final disposition.
The simplest decision framework
Ask yourselves four questions.
Do we want a place to visit?
Choose burial in a cemetery, a columbarium, or another permanent memorial.
Do we want freedom to move with the remains?
Keeping them at home may make the most sense.
Do we want a specific landscape to be part of the memorial?
Check the law for that exact place before you scatter.
Does more than one person want a physical part of the memorial?
Ask about dividing the remains lawfully and about keepsake options.
Frequently asked questions
How long can you keep cremated remains at home?
There's no single nationwide rule. State and local law can differ, and unusual situations can bring extra requirements.
Can I bury ashes in a cemetery?
Usually, yes, if the cemetery offers an urn plot, a niche, or another way to inter them, and you follow the cemetery's rules.
Can I keep a small amount of ashes?
Many families divide the ashes or use a small amount for memorial keepsakes. Check the provider's process and the law that applies.
Can I scatter ashes later?
Often, yes. That's one reason cremation can give families more time to plan. Check the law for the place before you scatter.
Do ashes have to stay in an urn?
Not always. Your lawful options depend on the final disposition you choose and the rules of the cemetery, landowner, or public authority involved.
What is the most common thing families do with ashes?
There's no single correct choice that suits everyone. Families keep, bury, inter, scatter, divide, and memorialize remains in many different ways.